I'm jumping ahead 10 weeks here; this story is too good to wait on. I have more to share from our hospital stay and the first few weeks but I don't want to forget this moment.
When reading about all the different developmental delays Sloane will endure; one would never believe anyone who says smiling is the only milestone that happens on schedule... I certainly didn't believe it for a second; that is until it happened last night.
Earlier this week Sloane flashed me a little smile, just one quick smile. I have a witness with Derek that she smiled. He saw it from the side as she smiled at me. We were both so thrilled! I thought for sure she'd do it again but days passed and I couldn't get another smile out of her for the life of me. I had given up inside, thinking "oh, it was a one time fluke or gas or something other than my reflection of a smile that caused her to react the same way too. That idea changed last night.
It was around 4:00am this morning and I could hear her in her crib beside our bed wrestling around. She rarely cries at night; we hear her grunts and feet kicking around in the bed more that we ever hear a mutter much less a cry. Anyway, diaper change first, then a bottle. By 4:30 we were burping and praying she'd fall back asleep. I try not to talk to her too much at night for fear she'll stir awake and then not go back to sleep at all (been there too many times). This morning though, she decided all on her own to stay up and keep me company... I took her off my shoulder and looked at her. She could see my face from the light of the closet in the bathroom. I could see her looking deep into my eyes, waiting for me to say something. I gave in... "Hi sweetie. You sure are awake Sloane!" A few more "Hi's" and "What are you doing awake's" later and I had her full attention. I smiled brightly at her and waiting for her to lift her head up and come face to face with me. She raised one eyebrow and them beamed back at me with a "coo" and "gurgle". I think she saw how startled and excited I was; she beamed again at me. I thought for sure we were going to wake up Daddy (and Will) next to us. Nope, it was just me and Sloane having a converstion and smiling at each other! I think I received 4-5 big smiles and probably 5 minutes of conversation before I realized it was nearly 5:00am! At that point I didn't care. I sweeped her up in my arms for a big hug and plenty of love you's and kisses.
We made our way downstairs but by then I could tell all that stimulation had worn her out... I held her for a little bit longer and savoured those moments. My daughter smiled at me, she actually smiled. She was happy and she smiled. I'll forever remember those gums flashing a great big smile, knowing she loves me as much as I love her in that moment. I understand that some things we're going to have to wait a little longer to celebrate; rolling over, crawling, walking, her first words... But to see a smile; the one emotion that lets you know she understands how hard you're working to please her and make her happy; this makes a parent's dream come true. You love your children from the moment they're conceaved. To see your child reciprocate that back to you is beyond words. You're doing something right, you're doing a great job, and she knows it! This is why I love being a Mommy. This is what I have been waiting for my whole life.
At first I was disappointed that she would "struggle" to meet these milestones in life. Now I see that these milestones will be worth the wait. She was worth the wait too.
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